Slow down, sister

I made a promise to myself that 2011 will be the year that I take care of my life. The inner and the outer, the tangible, the invisible, the loud, the silent, the confident, the lost, the broken, the strong, the crazy I don't know what I am doing with myself life, the life that surrounds me and tries to get by without me touching it except by its coattails as it zooms by. That life.

But I am messy. I am messy in my room and I am messy in my head. Things jumble together and I get overexcited and want to tackle the whole wide universe of life-fixin's at once, and therefore implode before I even get started. I know, I've tried taking care of my life before. So this time I am going to try something new to me. I am going to try slowing down.

Slow is hard. Slow takes time, slow takes patience, slow takes faith. Three things that don't always go hand in hand. When I have one, I am missing the other two. When I finally get to two, the third somehow slips away. But no matter. This is a year of unity. The year I am getting my mind and life to zen. The year this trinity will finally merge. Time, patience, faith. To hold on to them is like the proverbial sand in the hand, I will try to hold loosely, and they will no longer squeeze away. I hope. No, I believe.

So I am slowing down. I am learning. Man, is it hard! I am the girl who does four squats and wants perfectly toned thighs. The girl who makes one batch of frosting and wants it to be Martha Stewart quality. The girl who gets a 1% raise and wants to buy the whole damn store. The girl who always leaves late for an appointment because she thinks she can make up time on the road. The girl who takes a Spanish class and thinks she's fluent. Who wants it all now and throws her hands up and walks away when now takes too long. I like to hurry but for no real reason. Not a good reason, anyway.

I think I am off to a good start. I am trying to prioritize things, organize issues into categories. Things like "health," "finances," "social life," "career goals." Instead of a long list of things to do in one day and not doing any of them, I have created a long list of things to do in a year, and am tackling them one, or two, at a time. I find that I can tackle "health" and "finances" at one time, but only if I subdivide these into smaller sections, so instead of "get teeth fixed, foot looked at, lose weight, make ophthalmologist appointment" and "do taxes, create separate savings accounts, pay off credit card debt, make more money," it's looking more like "get teeth fixed and get taxes done." Then, on to the second set. And so on. And so forth.

I'm also learning that realistic short term goals are much more achievable than lofty, far off goals. "Get to the point where I can do 120 squats and still be able to walk the next day" is a lot more achievable than "lose weight." "Pay off credit card debt within three months" is a lot more tangible than "earn more." "Blog about something important to you right now" is more likely to happen than "write a best seller."

It's really difficult for me, this slowing down thing. But I can already see its benefits. I am happy because I am achieving my short term goals. Therefore I am more encouraged to keep reaching other short term goals, and thus feel confident in setting new challenges for myself. It's kind of like the really unfortunate Catch-22 of working out/eating right. The worse you eat and the more out of shape you get, the less likely you are to be motivated to work out and eat better. But once you start, the more you workout, the easier it gets to watch what you eat, and the better you eat, the more dedicated you become to your workouts. I guess that's always been my problem. I want my donuts and my rock-hard abs, too, instantaneously. So I am making choices, setting priorities, and slowing down enough to see the difference between what I want and how to get there.

CrossFit GO

Last Thursday, I took my first step into a CrossFit gym. It was, to say the least, intimidating. First of all, it looked like a giant garage in the middle of an industrial zone. "Really?" thought I. "Am I going to get murdered here?" There is nothing around except warehouses! (At least that's what it looked like at night). But then I walked in and it was quite lively and remarkably happy. A gaggle of people were waiting around for class to start, and they ranged from the super buff college jock to the flabby dude you'd see at the office.

The trainer had me do a very preliminary work out, comprised of warming up along with the rest of the people there, and then doing a separate workout while everyone else did the Workout Of the Day. So the warmup was repeating as many times as you could in the span of twelve minutes the following rotation: four hopsteps, nine situps, five pushups, 4 jumpsquats, and a minute of stretching after each round. Umm by twelve minutes I was already exhausted. And this was the warmup! Then the trainer had me do my own separate little workout while everyone else did strange things with very large weights that they kept lifting and throwing to the ground, while others did strange things on gymnastic-looking rings. I don't know. I figure in a while I will learn the lingo to better explain these things.

Anyhoo, my little workout was three rounds of the following exercises: 500 meters on the rowing machine, twenty situps (using this little back pad thing), and twenty steps on a big tall wooden step thing. Sounds simple, right? Umm, wrong. It took me 16:03 to complete this, the time went up on the white board, and I was a shaky, sweaty ball of endorphins. It's kind of annoying how the harder you work out, the happier you feel, because it makes you want to work out more, and the lazy side of me is morally opposed to wanting to work out more! Ha.

All this to say that this week I am going back for my "pre Cross Fit" classes, three days this week, in which I will learn about the moves that make up CrossFit workouts and get to know the trainers more, and in the process, get my butt into gear.

M is training for his third half marathon right now, which will happen in only EIGHT WEEKS, and I made him a promise that as long as he is training for his half, I will go to CrossFit three times a week. I am hoping this keeps both of us motivated on focused on our individual goals. After all, we only have six months to go until our wedding, and we can't be flubby and huffy!

So, today is really CrossFit Day one, since last week was so introductory. I am making a minimum three-times-a-week-for-two-months commitment, and now that it's in the blog universe, I hope it will keep me accountable.

I know that even harder than going to my CrossFit classes will be cutting back on the eating. I don't know what happened, I was doing real well, but for the last couple of weeks I've been approaching food like it's made of air, and all of a sudden I am past my "weight ceiling" -- the highest number that is acceptable. So, I need to cut back on the cookies at work, but mostly portion size. I definitely have eyes bigger than my tummy when it comes to food, so I pile on the food a bit more than necessary.

But considering I'll be paying an arm and half a leg for CrossFit, I feel like I will be motivated to cut back on the food as well -- after all, what's the point of paying so much $$ if I negate all my efforts by eating badly? Okay, so here we go blogworld, you are going to keep me accountable.

So, CrossFit operation is officially a go!

I am not kidding you, this is my trainer

Things to come

1. Photo proof* of my culinary adventures, including my soon-to-become famous white chocolate, raspberry-filled, and chocolate cream cheese-frosted cupcakes.

2. Impressions of 4th of July camping trip.

3. Additions to my foot woes/whoahs series, including adventures in barefoot running and my high hopes for five-toed running shoes.

4. Discussions on upcoming events, including Kenny Chesney concert, Wharf-to-Wharf run, and possibly Harry Potter film.

5. Most likely a review of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

* Cupcake shown in banner was not made by yours truly.

Muddy High

I have a little secret. The Mud Run on Saturday was... great fun!

The three muddy buddies after coming out of the final mud pit, but before crossing the finish line

The day started early; actually, it started on Friday, with a flight into Burbank. We tried to go to bed at a reasonable hour, because come Saturday morning, we were up at 4 (or was it 4:30)? M's sister and her daughter came over, and together with M's mom, we piled into the minivan all sleepy-like. Los Angeles freeways are probably best experienced at 5 a.m. on Saturdays, but who really wants to do that? Anyways, the drive toward San Diego was great, smooth riding all the way. I had a couple cereal bars - Nature Valley yogurt bars beat out the Odwalla bar in the taste test - and slathered my feet in anti-blister gel. We were making fantastic time, and were two exists from Camp Pendelton with plenty of time to spare, when we decided to take a pee break at the rest stop off the freeway rather than wait until we got to the race, figuring the port-a-potties would be both crowded and gross. Well, the quick pit stop turned into a 45-minute detour, and by the time we got back on the freeway to go one more exit, the line to get off was about a mile long. We crawled on the freeway, crawled through the base entrance, crawled through the base, and crawled into a parking spot. Finally, we had arrived! We were late as all hell now, but we had arrived! We parked too close to bus it, so we walked to the entrance, which was good, as it gave us a bit of a warm-up. We got our t-shirts (yay!), checked in our bags, peed one more time in a totally disgusting port-a-potty, and finally made it to the staging area. Wow! Talk about a crowd! I knew that there were 4000 people running this race, but all of a sudden I realized, There are 4000 people running this race! We literally got in line a minute before the starting time at 9:00, just in time to sing the "Star Spangled Banner," and then we were off!!!

My number

We ran for what seemed like a quarter mile, maybe, and got hosed down by (hot) marines (this "hot marines" theme will be a recurring one, so pay attention). Now, previous to the race, I had not been excited at the thought of being soaking wet and cold and running in slushy shoes. But, wouldn't you know? It is great fun! The water wasn't as icy cold as I had expected, and with the San Diego mugginess, and the hotness of 4000 people around, it felt actually refreshing. Did we scream bloody murder? Of course! We were being hosed down by (hot) marines, for goodness' sake!

The order of the obstacles is rather fuzzy to me now, but I remember there was sad (not so fun, but not so bad), a little river crossing, another hosing down by (hot) marines, and hills. There were definitely hills on this run. "Suicide Hill" is a two-mile long incline, and I had been really nervous about it, but I've had a good coach the last few months, who encouraged me to run the hills behind Stanford with urgency, and it paid off. I was tired, and it was hard, but nothing unmanageable.

Now, the mud. Oh, the mud... it is exactly what I imagined. Sticky, thick, stenchy, wet... Kind of like cow manure in smell, and swampy mulch in texture. But the mud pits are not long enough to become truly nauseating, and the only really difficult thing about them is trying not to twist your ankles when going in and out of the pits, as you can't see where you're placing your feet, and the mud is all bumpy and slippery.

The obstacle I had been most concerned about was the reservoir crossing, but it actually turned out to be my favorite! Basically, you have to cross a football field-length water reservoir, with water about nose-height for me (blessed are the tall!). I thought it would be awful, and as I'm not a strong swimmer, I'd had visions of me drowning and having all the (hot) marines laughing at my pansiness. But I held one hand on M's shoulder, and by kinda of moon-walking and holding on, I managed to get all the way across. The only hard part was getting out. We all wanted to stay in that cool, clean, calming water. But, no, we got out and immediately started running.

Now, a word about running wet. It's not so bad, definitely not as bad as I had anticipated. Yes, your shoes squeak, but that's really all. I had on really tight clothing, so I didn't feel any wet-clothes discomfort. The only really hard part is the pebbles in the shoes, especially as they dry. While all the sand and pebbles that get in are still wet, it just feels a little rough. But once they are dry, it's like... well it's like what you'd imagine running with a shoe full of rubble would feel like. However, I discovered that it is much easier to run with many rocks in your shoe, than with just one little one. If I'm running and there's one pebble in there, I have to stop and get it out. But magically, multiply that pebble by a hundred, make my shoes wet and give me some mud in my eyes, and I can run no problem.

On our race, there were no tires or hay bales obstacles, which I have heard occasionally show up. Maybe because it was the first Mud Run of the season, or maybe there were too many people, but they weren't there. There was a pipe-like tunnel thing, which I did not crawl through but rather walked through, all scrunched in. This is where I was very thankful for the squats I have been doing!!

The very worst part of the race for me were the walls - they are very tall, slippery, and once you jump over them, you land in bumpy, slippery, mud. This is where M's sister got hurt - the first wall. She messed up her ankle, and I felt so bad for her because it was relatively early on in the race. But she was a super-trooper, and completed the rest of the race beautifully. Still, those damn walls -- if I do this next year, I'm definitely beefing up my arms and growing about 7 inches, because these f*****s are tall! The second one I jumped was a "double" wall, meaning twice as thick, so I couldn't even hook my hands around it. M's sis propped me up, and M helped me come down on the other side. Without them, I know I would have had to get a (hot) marine to help me, or just flounder around in the mud until someone took mercy on me and let me walk around the damn things. They are awful!

Lastly, there is the final mud pit, which is super wet and stinky. There are plastic flags strewn across every few feet, and you can't get higher than those flags -- basically you have to cross on the mud pit on your hands and knees. The worst part of it by far is just that your knees get all scratched up and the mud makes it kinda of sting, but even that is not so bad.

When we got out of the mud pit, we saw M's mom on the sidelines, and stopped to take a couple of pictures, which makes for good photos, but for slower time! We then sprinted to the official finish line, with a finishing time of 1 hour, 52 minutes, and 58 seconds. MUCH slower than M's time last year of 1 hour, 30 minutes. However, this is where I put in my time disclaimer -- since we got to the starting line so late, there weer literally thousands of people ahead of us, which led to extreme bottlenecking at several parts along the course. I think we could have easily shaved 10 minutes off of our time just by taking out all the time we spent waiting around to get through narrow parts of the trails. Overall, though, I can't be upset about the time - we weren't really doing it with a time goal in mind, though if I do it again next year, my goal is to beat 1 hour 30.

(If you look carefully in the picture, you see us three running towards the finish line)

I couldn't believe when we were finished that it had all gone by. I mean, it was seriously fun! It is true that you feel a great sense of pride in yourself - you just did this hard thing, and survived, and enjoyed it! A few months ago I couldn't run half a block, and now I ran six miles and jumped walls and crossed reservoirs, and got high-fives from (hot) marines along the way!!

I forgot to mention that occasionally, marines would be on the side of the trails with water guns spraying us down, or handing out water and Gatorade, and cheering us on. That was great fun, and it was nice to feel like they were proud of us, and in turn we are all proud of them for what they do. It was all very squishy-lovey-dovey, in a muddy-runny-mess kind of way.


After the race, we met up with M's mom and niece, and took photos, and bought souvenir shirts, and got a celebratory beer. I had wanted to shower, but there were only about 3500 people in line waiting to shower, so I decided to just change while M held a towel around me. Mmm, nothing like putting fresh clothes on over caked mud! Actually - it was kind of fun. M and I kind of wandered around and took it all in, and again felt all squishy-lovey-dovey.

Then, we headed back to L.A. and while we made a fruitless detour trying to go to In-N-Out, we still got to L.A. in an hour and a half! Awesome time! We dropped off M's mom, sis, and niece, and M and I went and got a celebratory Bacon Western burger and fries (and a taco) from the best burger place in all of Los Angeles, Pete's. We did split the burger, as we were having bbq later that night, but man! That was the best burger I've ever had! I was S-T-A-R-V-I-N-G at that point - about 2:30 p.m., and we wolfed that bad boy down!

Thus, our Mud Run adventure drew to a close. It was a successful adventure in every sense: I got in better shape, learned to semi-like running, bonded with M's sister who inspired me all this time to keep training, and achieved something that even a year ago when I spectated at the Mud Run I thought I would never be able to do.

I guess the marines have reminded me of a lesson we all should remember, which is that if we do set our minds to something and work hard toward that goal, there are very few things in life that we can't achieve. All the little things that I tried to use as excuses turned out to be just that, excuses. "I don't have enough time," but I made time. "My feet hurt," but I got new shoes and insoles, and my feet were just fine. "I can't breathe!" (This was a big one at the beginning), but I learned that if I kept training, my heart and lungs started getting stronger, and soon I could run and talk at the same time.

Now, the goal on the horizon running-wise is the Wharf to Wharf in Santa Cruz/Capitola at the end of July. Thank goodness I signed up for it, otherwise I might be very tempted to stop running for a while. As for next year's Mud Run, I'm almost positive that I will do it again, even if to prove to myself that I can beat M's time from last year ;-)

Mud Run this Saturday!!

Where have the last six months gone? It feels like just yesterday I was lounging on a chaise on a cruise ship, sipping champagne, waiting for the ship to sail out onto the Pacific. This is exactly what I was doing when M's sister called to tell him that indeed, the three of us had been signed up for the Camp Pendleton Mud Run on June 6. Now, it is June 4, and I feel compelled to both run with arms wide open towards this crazy race, as well as run screaming in any direction other than San Diego. Overall though, I am truly psyched and happy to be doing this, and I can't wait for Sunday morning to roll around when I can wake up and have this be behind me!

One thing that truly inspired me on this last stretch is a comment that I received today from a fellow blogger. Sue Ann Jaffarian is also doing the Mud Run this Saturday, and she must have somehow come across one of my entries about the Mud Run, and left me a great comment telling me a bit about her own journey toward Camp Pendleton. I highly recommend giving her blog, Babble 'n Blog, a read.

To catch up briefly on this month's training:

We took it slowly, and sure enough, by last Sunday, I was able to do a six-mile run, complete with hills. We started out a few weeks ago doing two miles, then pushed it up to two and a half, then three... then suddenly I found myself running and running and Gosh-durn, still running, during our six mile trek a few days ago. Needless to say, I'm a bit over running by now, but at the same time I am excited that I have gotten a really good base down, so I can concentrate on running being "fun" rather than "excruciating." This is imperative, as we're doing the Wharf to Wharf at the end of July, and I must be in good enough shape to actually enjoy all the bands and entertainers and supporters along that route.

In preparation for the Mud Run, I even bought myself some really cute - and totally expensive - triathlon shorts, which I bought partially with the intention that they will encourage me to train for the Disneyland Duathlon next year.

Lastly, I must touch upon my lame foot. My lame foot is seriously a pain in my behind (odd phrase, ain't it??) and after much procrastination, I actually went to a real foot doctor. He informed me that I over-pronate in my right foot, a fancy word meaning I don't have enough arch support, which leads to the tibial nerve being overly stressed (perhaps it needs a margarita? I know I do!). Any-this-is-probably-boring, the podiatrist gave me these super nerdy-looking food pad things to add on TOP of my already geeky insoles. I cannot wear them for the Mud Run, as they are made of felt, which shockingly is no friend to mud, but I shall definitely start wearing them as soon as the Mud Run is over. Hopefully, this should improve my foot-falling-asleep issue, and make me a happier and better runner.

Next time you hear from me, I will hopefully have good news to report. If there are no posts by early next week, send out a search party to sift through the mud :)

In other news, great speech by President Obama in Cairo! NYT has the full text, though I'm not sure how well the link will work.

"The Holy Koran tells us, 'O mankind! We have created you male and female; and we have made you into nations and tribes so that you may know one another.' The Talmud tells us: 'The whole of the Torah is for the purpose of promoting peace.' The Holy Bible tells us, 'Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.' The people of the world can live together in peace. We know that is God's vision. Now, that must be our work here on Earth. Thank you. And may God's peace be upon you." (End of Obama's speech).

P.S. Happy Belated to Anderson Cooper, who turned 42 yesterday :)

The Mud Run

I have been avoiding blogging about this for months. The reason is two-fold; first, it took me a really long time to accept that I have actually signed up for this, and second, I feel that my training progress is not impressive enough to write about. However, the date is soon approaching and I have to fully embrace the torture that is...

The Mud Run

From the horse's mouth: "This is the World Famous Mud Run! The Mud Run is a challenging 10K run with hills, tire obstacles, river crossings, two 5-foot walls with mud on both sides, tunnel crawl, slippery hill climb, and the final 30-foot mud pit. Along the course there will be 6 water points with personnel staged at each. This is the most fun you can have running a 10K! View the course map at www.camppendletonraces.com. Race individually military or civilian, within your age division, or as a member of a 5-person team. Choose the Open category with no restrictions on attire and footwear, or the Boots and Utilities category, which requires regulation military boots and camouflage utility trousers. Please note: there is a 2 hour 45 minute time limit on the completion of the course."

M and his friend Ray (of Ray of Light Fund) did this last year. Ray's girlfriend and I went to cheer our men on, and watched the sheer torture that this race truly is; somehow, both of us are doing it this year. Sadly, due to a confusion in scheduling, it will be on different days, but I digress. The point is, I have witnessed the disgusting mud, I have heard the screams of hundreds of people being hosed down with icy water as they try to crawl up a muddy hill, and I have smelled the foulness of the final mud pit. And I am now doing this. Why? The gods only know.

But let me try to work out the reasoning behind this.

I needed an incentive to get my lardy butt in shape. Especially since I started work, I have feared that I was on the steep slope to imobility. And yes, I have a lovely gym that I visit regularly, but with no real incentive to get me motivated, the gym was really more a recreational activity than a health-and-fitness motivator.

Second, M's sister really wanted to do it, for the same reason (see above), and when I realized she was serious about it, I felt compelled to join, knowing I'd have another girl to run with and support, and be supported by.

Third, everybody that crossed that finish line last year looked so... happy!


The hellish hills, the mucky mud, the fire hoses, the whole shebang - and the girl above is exhilarated! I wanted to feel that same sense of accomplishment and pride, and I have never really pushed myself to do anything remotely athletic that would warrant such results. This is my chance. I could have started with a 5k or even a normal 10k, but I figure, if you're gonna do it, might as well do it with a bang. So, I'm doing it!

I have been running now for a couple of months, and I have to say that I am really proud of myself. When I started, it was a struggle just to run for a minute. Now, I am doing just under 13 minute miles! Hoorah! Hooray!! Huzzah!!! Last weekend M and I went to Santa Cruz and ran for over an hour on forest trails, which was good for the body, but even better for the soul. There really is no other feeling like running over brooks, by wildflowers, under mossy branches of redwoods.

The only snaffu in my perfect plan to become a running goddess is...

My Lame Foot

I have a lame foot, and it's a pain. Literally. My right foot apparently decided that it wants to become entirely numb somewhere between 1.85 to 2 miles, almost every run. It feels swollen, bloated, numb, tingly -- it SUCKS! My doctor said it's a nerve, and gave me stretches to do. I do them, it still numbs. I recently bought some sole inserts and they seem to help, but I am feeling the pressure to go see a podiatrist. I hate going to the doctor, so I have been putting it off, but it must be done eventually. It seems that hills and soft ground are better -- in Santa Cruz, it didn't do the numbness thing! Another reason to love Santa Cruz, as if I needed any more.

This past weekend, we ran at the Rose Bowl, and I saw how big of an improvement I have made since the last time I went running there. That's the most rewarding part about working out - is seeing and feeling yourself improve with time. I remember the first time I ran on the treadmill for five straight minutes, I wanted to hug myself.

So, until June, I will try to blog about my progress. It will be a challenge to increase my training, because my parents will be staying with us until after the Mud Run, but I will have to figure something out. Maybe run in the morning, if I can convince myself to get up.

Mud Run, here I come, and I will conquer you!

EquiFAT

I went to my shiny gym today to have my Equifit test. I met my trainer, K, who is so cute I want to put her in my pocket, even after she poked and pinched and made me sweat!

First, she handed me a heart rate monitor, which I've never worn before. I strapped it on, and we headed to the treadmill. She hikes the incline to 10 (TEN!!!) and starts off slow. Now, I've been jogging for a few weeks, so my calves, thank God, are not in completely disastrous state, otherwise I think I may have started crying, going at that incline! So, calves in order, I start walking. After a couple of minutes, K increases the speed, until I finally got to the goal, which apparently was 175 (85% of my heart rate potential, or something medical like that which I don't quite understand yet). I was pretty huffy and puffy, but I felt pretty good.

Next, we go to a room where she took my weight (which of course is 3 lbs higher than my scale at home says. How does that work!?!?), checked to see my squat form (apparently good), and then prodded me with this trippy little pincher device which she used all over - my upper arms, my hips, my thighs (basically, a woman's least favorite places to be poked at). Final verdict -- my body fat percentage is 31%!!! Now, K, sweet gal that she is, tried to make me feel better by saying it's really easy to improve that, especially doing my favorite thing which is weights. But still, I felt like a big fatty after she told me that my goal should be between 21-25%. I am ten whole percentage points over!!

This totally inspires me to keep going to my shiny gym, even more than the hefty price does! A year from now, I want that percentage to be at 21%, baby!!!